HungryForLife

The Digh Tribe

When I learned about an online writing course that author Patti Digh was offering called Verb Tribe I was immediately intrigued and eager to learn more. The tag line is “Because writing is a verb: something you do, a daily practice.”  A daily practice, huh?

Almost a year ago I committed to joining my friend Kathy and my husband Jeff in writing daily. We each work on our own projects with our own tools at our own time and pace. Every day.  WriteNiters meets one night a month and we have dinner at a different restaurant each time; read each other’s work, offer feedback and encouragement, vent, brainstorm, and laugh. And of course drink wine! Both smart moves to develop a writing practice that works:  a loving fun support system as well as external accountability. 

My first distraction to creating a writing practice: I have struggled with writing on the computer, all my previous creative writing was done by hand. It’s a completely different act and I resisted. But since I can’t read my own handwriting consistently and I didn’t want to have to type it after I’d written it, that felt like writing it twice—aaack—I tap, tap, tap. My purple laptop helps make typing inviting and I have unlimited options for where I write. Where and how do you write dear reader?

Daily for a year I have shown up to the page and written—something. Well, most every day. Even if it was crap, I stuck to my commitment to myself and to my fellow writers. I have compiled 63,982 words on 264 pages. The intention was to practice showing up. Yet, the closer I get to the end of my screenplay the less often I have been showing up. Lots of distractions, higher priorities, and excuses run rampant.

No wonder Verb Tribe’s slogan grabbed me, because ‘writing IS a verb’ and I wasn’t DOING much writing. I participated in Patti Digh’s live webinar launch for her newly revamped website 37Days and afterwards she offered participants a discount to VerbTribe (I even won a virtual doorprize!) When I read the offer it ‘thrummed’ in me. When my gut tells me I’m on the right path or about to move in the ideal direction I feel it throughout my body. Like the surge of a low musical note running through my veins. And it wasn’t my brain but my body that said: I’m in.

My experience of writing daily prompts (for 37 days), copying poems and passages by hand, and taking daily notes about the world around me has been joyfully transformative. As a person and as a person who writes. Patti uses Ruzuku for participants or The Tribe as we call ourselves, to receive daily prompts and to post their writing, thoughts and discoveries, photos, or videos.  It was exciting yet daunting. It was taking a leap before an edge was in sight. This space was ours to create and what we have chosen to manifest is an example of love in action. Our Ruzuku space and our live calls are places where we can be fully seen and fully heard. As people and as people who write.  

And then there is Patti. Wise. Articulate. Funny. Talented. Real. Inspiring. Balanced. (Maybe that last one would make her laugh but from my vantage point I see she has actualized a balance of doing and being)  She lives fully—and she writes. She’s a mom first. And she writes. She’s wife to Mr. Brilliant. And she writes. She has a successful business. And she writes.  She has a gift for teaching and communicating. And she writes. Thank you for your 'strong offer' to the world Patti!

During my writing prompts I have faced an abundance of fears and lived to write another day. I have walked to the edge and discovered there is no edge, my emotions have ranged from cursing resistance, “Not that %$#@! picture again!” (I am not a curser) to pools of tears releasing pent up negativity, to fits of giggles along the line of a recent FaceBook poster, ‘I laughed so hard tears ran down my leg.’  I’ve learned to look and then see, that multitasking is a fallacy, that you never know where a prompt may lead you—follow anyway.  And ultimately I’ve learned that Patti rocks at the fourteen words or less truth challenge:

“So you want to be a writer? Then sit the hell down and write.” ~Patti Digh

The heart and soul of VerbTribe are the people—kindred souls, wordsmiths who no matter where they are in their writing journey have struggles, sucky days, and then the moment where ‘changing one word’ turns dark into light. My aha moment? How gorgeously alike we all are. We are people practicing life. And we are people practicing writing.

My fellow Tribers: my overflowing gratitude leaves me searching for that one word to convey this extraordiary experience: Namaste.

top ten questions for 2012

I'm taking baby steps on my Planning 2012 project so here's an update from my 100 Questions post. I found the exercise to be daunting at first and only wrote curioius questions like, How does electricity work? and Why is purple my favorite color? There were broad and often unanswerable questions like, How long will I live? followed by, DO I want to know? Eventually I got down to the nitty grity and experienced a shift to focused specific questions that I truly wanted to answer.

Then I had to choose the top ten questions that resonated with me truly-madly-deeply. Ten? Only ten! I ticked and crossed off and bit my lip and then I put it away. I didn't want to choose only ten. When I was ready to come back to it weeks later (at least I came back, that's huge for me!) I decided to tick off ALL the questions that were particularly close to my heart and I came up with twelve and decided the extra were okay for now. I'm playing by my rules after all.

They are in no particualr order other than how they came to me. Here's a sampling:

What do I want to learn how to do more than anything? What adventure do I want to have in 2012 like paragliding? What do I want to create? Who are my sheroes for aging with attitude? What do I need to do to be ready for my ideal client?

 

My top twelve questions led to creating my goals for 2012. Which I divided into categories of:

Healthy Living, Learning, Biz, Creativity, Relationships, Play, and Writing

I answered this burning question: If you could accomplish only ONE thing in 2012 what would you want it to be? Why? What would your biz/life be like without it. What would your biz/life be like with it? I did this both personally and professionally . These answers gave me my Intentions for 2012.

To reach and maintain my fitest, healthist self.

Create financial freedom via a business partnership with Jeff.

Next, I considered this question: How are you going to make your intention a reality? Glenda suggests SMART goals: specific/measurable/actionable/realistic/timebound

My committment to this process is consistency over intensity! Brian Johnson reminds us, "If we work diligently, patiently, persistently, and playfully we're bound to be successful."

I will continue on to the next level of Palnning 2012 and create action steps for each of my goals. Glenda recommends three so as not to try and do too much. (Who me?) Then the steps actually need to be scheduled. This is the peice that gets me every time! Yes, I have my intentions and goals but I don't designate a time to take action on them. This planning prcocess has been extremely illuminating the process of 'making real' doesn't happen in my head—it begins there with an idea or desire but then I need to take action to begin the actualization process. I knew this logically but now I know it in my heart where it's blossomed into the power and inspiration to transform my dreams into reality.

I'm okay with that

My Christmas gift to myself was to redecorate my bedroom. I wanted paint, carpet, trim, the whole shebang. I used this project as a guinea pig to test new processes to break a task down into action steps. It felt overwhelming as a whole. When I’m overwhelmed I take no action. So I created a storyboard and the visual steps felt extremely foreign to me but were particularly helpful:

Here’s what I needed to learn again. Patience. Process. I set aside my vacation week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. We took our time and did tackled one portion a day. The first time we painted it was with a base coat Jeff had surprised me with, a soft lavender color which he thought I would love. Is there another color besides purple? When we finished Brin stood back and said, Momma it looks like a Unicorn puked in here. Sadly I agreed. It was the perfect color for a bedroom for a four year old princess. Back to Lowe’s for more paint.I was okay with that.

I agonized over shades of purple so long and completely that Jeff was able to make his escape to another part of the store without me stopping him. Once I was alone I put all the paint chips named purple mist and grapesicle back in their little slots. I took a deep breath closed my eyes and felt the feeling I wanted when I opened my eyes in bed in the morning. I started picking color brochures of landscapes: the ocean, the mountains, the forest, and then…canyons. That was the feeling—the sun illuminating the oranges and yellows in the canyon wall. Who knew? Huh. No purple? I was okay with that.

The green is called Willow Tree but as we slathered it on the bookcase it looked more and more like baby poop. So it’s a doo over—and I’m okay with that. I couldn’t be more surprised by my attitude towards the completion of this long overdue project. I’m in tune with the process and have faith I will find the ideal hue for the bookcase and have not bemoaned the expense of the baby poop paint as a waste. It was an investment in discovering what worked for me and what didn’t. Now I know. And I’m okay with that.

Have I suddenly evolved into a patient-in-the-moment person instead of the impatient, controlling, I-must-get-finished-so-I-can-be-happy person I used to be? Huh. What happened? I made a decision. I chose to immerse myself in process and be present instead of getting to done.  The walls and ceiling are painted, the trim is stained but not yet installed, the carpet has been laid, there is only a bed and a nightstand in the room, there’s no curtain on the window ( I tack up a piece of material at night), it still smells faintly of paint. The room is in transition and I am along for the ride. I’m okay with that.

"If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney

I spent the day with several AssistU Virtual Assistants on a virtual retreat on Friday. Our goal was to plan our year for 2012. I have never taken the time to map out goals to accomplish in a year and I thought this was a brilliant idea for next year: my year of action. 2011 was a gift to myself I needed to spread my wings and fly, to experience freedom and the ease of soaring but next year I want to focus on digging in and taking action in my business and personal life.

My first step was to take Kim’s advice and journal where I wanted to be in December 2012. Oh that was easy—to have one more ideal client; to be debt free again; to finish my screen play and the edits; to create a new WOWVA Wordpress website; to discover a business that Jeff and I can do together; to maintain my weight and fitness goals with ease; to volunteer with a local therapeutic riding organization; to learn to sail; to take the Weight Watchers leadership training.

A couple of those potential manifestations surprised me and spoke to stepping out of my comfort zone. Next, I knew I wanted both a theme and a word for 2012 to help me focus on my priorities, create a plan of action and processes, and stay on a clear heading for true north. I realized during this process they may not be the same word and that was a new possibility as well. I mind mapped the word action which felt like the right beginning for my theme but I wanted more.

Action as in ‘something done’ led me to accomplish, achieve, realize, and finally actualize as in ‘make real’.  It clicked. The word fit my purpose and intention exactly and resonated in my entire body kind of like a deep hum or the vibration from a stringed instrument. Thawaaaaang!  Some of the synonyms for actualize are: activate, create, begin, undertake, initiate, accomplish, bring about, produce, realize. The other synonym that came from mind mapping the word action was challenge—there it was like a clear blue day filled with possibility. The definitions that applied for me are: difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it. And: something that by its nature or character serves as a call to special effort.

Stretching myself out of my comfort zones both personally and professionally is a way to challenge myself and achieve the ultimate goal of living my best life—a call to special effort. Beautiful that. Sailing is something I’ve always wanted to learn to do and would be a stepping stone to the live-aboard life hubby and I envision. I’ve shifted my thoughts from ‘I don’t know how to do that and can’t picture myself doing it’ to the possibility of: what does it take to learn to sail? Who do I need to become and what do I need to do to actualize being a sailor? Amazing that.

Now that I have my theme and one little word and have generated a slew of goals for 2012 I am combining Jamie Ridler’s planning ideas with Glenda Myles’s Planning 2012 Series. I’ve completed the 100 Questions exercise (extremely enlightening—more on that in another post) and am ready to select my top ten questions and move on to writing my intention for 2012 and a plan for transforming my ideas into reality: actualizing them!

Here's to a year filled with possibility, delight, and your wild and woolly dream actualized!

Here’s a quick review of the 100 Questions exercise—you may be inspired to play:

See it. Be it. Live it.

For most of this year I have struggled with emotional eating, over eating, and craving comfort foods. In the beginning of my weight releasing journey I was focused on getting done with burning fat but I learned that it was a process and there was no way to do it but go through. The same with all life lessons from having a baby to losing a loved one. I had to wrap my head around the idea that once I released the excess pounds that maintaining my weight might be a challenge but I didn’t imagine it would be more challenging than my original journey. Oh my—it is. And I realize I have not listened to my wise self and I have gained rather than maintained.

At 140 lbs. I heard, you’re too thin from a few people—I hadn’t heard those words since I was nine years old! In 2009 when my mom and her love of sweets moved in with us I gained five pounds and I was okay with that because others thought I was too thin. I liked how I felt at 140 but I could live with the gain. When mom was sick last Christmas and died in January—I gained five pounds in a few weeks. They stuck. Every trip I’ve taken this year I’ve gained 3-4 pounds and then struggled for what felt like forever to let them go. It's not about the number but how I feel—heavier and less energized.

Since starting CrossFit I have definitely seen and felt a difference in my body (yes, besides sore muscles!) but I haven't lost weight. Yes, I built muscle. Yes, I’m stronger and have more stamina. I still have a ways to go to be toned but I’ll get there one workout at a time. But I see that I slowly gave up on all my other exercise; walking, biking, dancing, and I felt sorry for my poor sore body and didn’t I deserve a reward for all my effort? I reverted to thinking of foods as good, bad, and evil. Guess where all my comfort foods lie out of those three categories?

It has taken me all year to realize I’ve been stuck in diet mentality. My Weight Watchers leader Stacey mentioned this in a meeting last week and I had an Aha! moment. I wasn’t consciously depriving myself but now I see that’s why when I broke down and binged I could disappear a half a pan of brownies. Poof! The thinking is: scarf as much as possible because it may be months before I get this again. Then came the cycle of guilt, admonishment, feeling bad about myself, which triggers a whole ‘nother emotional food-fest, followed by the question why bother exercising after eating all that!?

I was discouraged. I was tired of the struggle. I’d lost my way. I'd forgotten that this journey is a process—not about getting to done. There is no done for this over eater/emotional eater. For me the first step to getting back on track is to pick myself up. I wanted something to lift my spirits and energy. I needed a vision. Once I became aware of my thinking I was on board immediately with letting go of diet brain—I know diets don’t work yet I had reverted to my comfort zone. I needed to stretch myself out of that supposed comfortable place of excess and ease and get back up. I needed to see it. Be it. Live it. Not a DIEt but a LIVEit. Isn’t it interesting that evil in reverse is LIVE? Hmmmm.

My vision manifested itself as a vision board with a twist. I cut out magazine pictures and words that gave life and color to my intentions of building a strong and healthy body. I added my weigh in date for each week in December and my intended weight. First I SEE it on the board. Then I BEcome it, manifest it. That’s how I LIVEit. Creating the board itself was a messy creative trial and error endeavor and reaffirmed for me how important going through the process is—not the end result.

The first time I attempted to make it I was in a hurry and resistant to the process. I ended up tearing it up and starting again the next day. I set the mood and took a pile of O Magazines and all the tools I’d need to snip and glue and sat in the middle of my bed. Once I relaxed into the rhythm of opening and receiving, the perfect photos and words popped up everywhere. I had set my timer for ninety minutes and I stopped and walked away when it beeped. I left the bed just the way it was. Oh my inner control freak wanted to clean up right now! I gently cajoled her with, No dear, we’re not finished, it’s not your turn yet, we’ll come back later and you can whip it into shape.

I went back before dinner for an hour to trim and choose my final pieces and lay them out. Oh, it was delightful! A childlike process akin to paper dolls. Once again, I walked away when the dinner bell rang. Later that night as we settled in to watch a show I sat in front of the TV wielding my glue stick like a magic wand and whisking all the pieces into their ideal places. It took all day to complete this concoction because I let it simmer and burble like a good potion maker does.

I learned to be in the moment; to connect to my creative genius; to trust my gut; to see what I want to be; to be patient and loving with myself; that mis-takes are merely do-overs to celebrate. I learned that I can enjoy the end results but not let them be the keeper of joy— happiness lies in the journey not the destination. I learned that all the lessons of creating my LIVEit poster apply to living my LIVEit life!

(I wrote this draft on Monday and weighed in on Tuesday: at a half a pound below my goal for week one! Woot, woot!)

 

 

Reading list from Learning2011

Many of the speakers and presenters at Learning 2011 were also authors and so I've compiled a list of their books and the books they recommended. Being a bibliophile and working with a group of librarians made this list a must have!

The Learning Explosion: 9 Rules to Ignite Your Virtual Classroom By Matt Murdoch & Treion Muller

The Art of the Focused Conversation Edited by  R. Brian Stanfield

Wikinomics & Macrowikinomics By Don Tapscott and Anthony Williams

Back to Work By Bill Clinton

The Big Sort By Bill Bishop and Robert Cushing

Being Wrong By Kathryn Schulz

The Indian Clerk: A Novel By David Leavitt

Social Media for Trainers By Jane Bozarth

Power of Pull By John Seely Brown

The Checklist Manifesto By Atul Gawande

Take the Lead By Betsy Meyers

Dean Kamen rocks!

Prior to attending Learning2011 I had not heard of Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway and other amazing and life impacting robotic inventions. He was such a down to earth humorous guy I was hooked before I even heard about what he's done with kids, science, and technology! He founded USFIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) twenty years ago "To transform our culture by creating a world where science and technology are celebrated and where young people dream of becoming science and technology leaders."

I think you'll be wowed by Dean's story and inspired to pursue your dreams with a renewed enthusiasm!

 

 

Learning 2011 Transactive memory

I found this topic of transactive memory absolutely fascinating! These are two short videos from Learning 2011 of Betsy Sparrow, Assistant Professor and Director of Undergraduate Studies in the Department of Psychology at Columbia University. Betsy is the co-author of “Google Effects on Memory: Cognitive Consequences of Having Information at Our Fingertips,” which appeared in Science magazine in July 2011.

Here are the highlights for me:

If people believe information is accessible they don’t bother to remember it
The Internet allows us to access the memories of other people
Transactive memory allows us to devote more cognitive resources to learning