My mom's subscription of O Magazine has arrived each month all year and I have piled them in a basket without reading them. Not because of the magazine but because it was something mom loved to do and had struggled with so much in her final months. She was always tearing out tidbits and words to share with me from magazines. I miss that.
Last month when I was ready to create my weight goal vision board I used the magazines to cut out words and photos that spoke to me. I also couldn't help but read a few articles and was wowed at the content and insightfulness. Mom would want me to read them, of course she would! I know it seems such a glaringly obvious fact but for me this was an AHA moment.
I read January's edition from cover to cover and the final page "What I Know for Sure" by Oprah resonated with me immensely and I hope you'll go here and read it in it's entirety. Here's an excerpt that seeped deep into my core and settled quietly, stilly, basking in the truth and power of these words:
"I choose to see it (2012) as the dawning of a new year of alignment, because with alignment comes enlightenment. When you're aligned with your heart's desire, when you're in sync with who you're meant to be and how you're supposed to contribute to our magnificent Earth, you feel a shift in perception. You start to notice that miracles show up regularly.
Some people call these miracles coincidences or serendipity. I like to call them marvelisms. Because when I'm doing everything I'm meant to do to keep my mind, body, and spirit whole (which for me means meditating twice a day, eating healthy, and exercising at least one hour daily), I constantly marvel at how other experiences fall into place. It's as though that beautiful line in Paulo Coelho's novel The Alchemist comes true: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.""
Isn't that the best word!? Marvelisms. What marvelisms do you want to attract for yourself in 2012 dear reader? I have made great strides the last month of 2011 to answer that question clearly for myself and already on this fisrt day of the New Year feel I am on the exact right path and it feels...well it feels marvelous!
I spent the day with several AssistU Virtual Assistants on a virtual retreat on Friday. Our goal was to plan our year for 2012. I have never taken the time to map out goals to accomplish in a year and I thought this was a brilliant idea for next year: my year of action. 2011 was a gift to myself I needed to spread my wings and fly, to experience freedom and the ease of soaring but next year I want to focus on digging in and taking action in my business and personal life.
My first step was to take Kim’s advice and journal where I wanted to be in December 2012. Oh that was easy—to have one more ideal client; to be debt free again; to finish my screen play and the edits; to create a new WOWVA Wordpress website; to discover a business that Jeff and I can do together; to maintain my weight and fitness goals with ease; to volunteer with a local therapeutic riding organization; to learn to sail; to take the Weight Watchers leadership training.
A couple of those potential manifestations surprised me and spoke to stepping out of my comfort zone. Next, I knew I wanted both a theme and a word for 2012 to help me focus on my priorities, create a plan of action and processes, and stay on a clear heading for true north. I realized during this process they may not be the same word and that was a new possibility as well. I mind mapped the word action which felt like the right beginning for my theme but I wanted more.
Action as in ‘something done’ led me to accomplish, achieve, realize, and finally actualize as in ‘make real’. It clicked. The word fit my purpose and intention exactly and resonated in my entire body kind of like a deep hum or the vibration from a stringed instrument. Thawaaaaang! Some of the synonyms for actualize are: activate, create, begin, undertake, initiate, accomplish, bring about, produce, realize. The other synonym that came from mind mapping the word action was challenge—there it was like a clear blue day filled with possibility. The definitions that applied for me are: difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it. And: something that by its nature or character serves as a call to special effort.
Stretching myself out of my comfort zones both personally and professionally is a way to challenge myself and achieve the ultimate goal of living my best life—a call to special effort. Beautiful that. Sailing is something I’ve always wanted to learn to do and would be a stepping stone to the live-aboard life hubby and I envision. I’ve shifted my thoughts from ‘I don’t know how to do that and can’t picture myself doing it’ to the possibility of: what does it take to learn to sail? Who do I need to become and what do I need to do to actualize being a sailor? Amazing that.
Now that I have my theme and one little word and have generated a slew of goals for 2012 I am combining Jamie Ridler’s planning ideas with Glenda Myles’s Planning 2012 Series. I’ve completed the 100 Questions exercise (extremely enlightening—more on that in another post) and am ready to select my top ten questions and move on to writing my intention for 2012 and a plan for transforming my ideas into reality: actualizing them!
Here's to a year filled with possibility, delight, and your wild and woolly dream actualized!
Here’s a quick review of the 100 Questions exercise—you may be inspired to play:
For most of this year I have struggled with emotional eating, over eating, and craving comfort foods. In the beginning of my weight releasing journey I was focused on getting done with burning fat but I learned that it was a process and there was no way to do it but go through. The same with all life lessons from having a baby to losing a loved one. I had to wrap my head around the idea that once I released the excess pounds that maintaining my weight might be a challenge but I didn’t imagine it would be more challenging than my original journey. Oh my—it is. And I realize I have not listened to my wise self and I have gained rather than maintained.
At 140 lbs. I heard, you’re too thin from a few people—I hadn’t heard those words since I was nine years old! In 2009 when my mom and her love of sweets moved in with us I gained five pounds and I was okay with that because others thought I was too thin. I liked how I felt at 140 but I could live with the gain. When mom was sick last Christmas and died in January—I gained five pounds in a few weeks. They stuck. Every trip I’ve taken this year I’ve gained 3-4 pounds and then struggled for what felt like forever to let them go. It's not about the number but how I feel—heavier and less energized.
Since starting CrossFit I have definitely seen and felt a difference in my body (yes, besides sore muscles!) but I haven't lost weight. Yes, I built muscle. Yes, I’m stronger and have more stamina. I still have a ways to go to be toned but I’ll get there one workout at a time. But I see that I slowly gave up on all my other exercise; walking, biking, dancing, and I felt sorry for my poor sore body and didn’t I deserve a reward for all my effort? I reverted to thinking of foods as good, bad, and evil. Guess where all my comfort foods lie out of those three categories?
It has taken me all year to realize I’ve been stuck in diet mentality. My Weight Watchers leader Stacey mentioned this in a meeting last week and I had an Aha! moment. I wasn’t consciously depriving myself but now I see that’s why when I broke down and binged I could disappear a half a pan of brownies. Poof! The thinking is: scarf as much as possible because it may be months before I get this again. Then came the cycle of guilt, admonishment, feeling bad about myself, which triggers a whole ‘nother emotional food-fest, followed by the question why bother exercising after eating all that!?
I was discouraged. I was tired of the struggle. I’d lost my way. I'd forgotten that this journey is a process—not about getting to done. There is no done for this over eater/emotional eater. For me the first step to getting back on track is to pick myself up. I wanted something to lift my spirits and energy. I needed a vision. Once I became aware of my thinking I was on board immediately with letting go of diet brain—I know diets don’t work yet I had reverted to my comfort zone. I needed to stretch myself out of that supposed comfortable place of excess and ease and get back up. I needed to see it. Be it. Live it. Not a DIEt but a LIVEit. Isn’t it interesting that evil in reverse is LIVE? Hmmmm.
My vision manifested itself as a vision board with a twist. I cut out magazine pictures and words that gave life and color to my intentions of building a strong and healthy body. I added my weigh in date for each week in December and my intended weight. First I SEE it on the board. Then I BEcome it, manifest it. That’s how I LIVEit. Creating the board itself was a messy creative trial and error endeavor and reaffirmed for me how important going through the process is—not the end result.
The first time I attempted to make it I was in a hurry and resistant to the process. I ended up tearing it up and starting again the next day. I set the mood and took a pile of O Magazines and all the tools I’d need to snip and glue and sat in the middle of my bed. Once I relaxed into the rhythm of opening and receiving, the perfect photos and words popped up everywhere. I had set my timer for ninety minutes and I stopped and walked away when it beeped. I left the bed just the way it was. Oh my inner control freak wanted to clean up right now! I gently cajoled her with, No dear, we’re not finished, it’s not your turn yet, we’ll come back later and you can whip it into shape.
I went back before dinner for an hour to trim and choose my final pieces and lay them out. Oh, it was delightful! A childlike process akin to paper dolls. Once again, I walked away when the dinner bell rang. Later that night as we settled in to watch a show I sat in front of the TV wielding my glue stick like a magic wand and whisking all the pieces into their ideal places. It took all day to complete this concoction because I let it simmer and burble like a good potion maker does.
I learned to be in the moment; to connect to my creative genius; to trust my gut; to see what I want to be; to be patient and loving with myself; that mis-takes are merely do-overs to celebrate. I learned that I can enjoy the end results but not let them be the keeper of joy— happiness lies in the journey not the destination. I learned that all the lessons of creating my LIVEit poster apply to living my LIVEit life!
(I wrote this draft on Monday and weighed in on Tuesday: at a half a pound below my goal for week one! Woot, woot!)
Many of the speakers and presenters at Learning 2011 were also authors and so I've compiled a list of their books and the books they recommended. Being a bibliophile and working with a group of librarians made this list a must have!
The Learning Explosion: 9 Rules to Ignite Your Virtual Classroom By Matt Murdoch & Treion Muller
Prior to attending Learning2011 I had not heard of Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway and other amazing and life impacting robotic inventions. He was such a down to earth humorous guy I was hooked before I even heard about what he's done with kids, science, and technology! He founded USFIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) twenty years ago "To transform our culture by creating a world where science and technology are celebrated and where young people dream of becoming science and technology leaders."
I think you'll be wowed by Dean's story and inspired to pursue your dreams with a renewed enthusiasm!
Former President Bill Clinton was the keynote speaker at the Learning 2011 Conference I attended last week on behalf of my client. Our host and presenter Elliott Maisie asked our former president to tie his speech to the topic of learning as a continued conversation about the future of learning. Mr. Clinton was scheduled to speak for thirty minutes and be interviewed by our host for thirty minutes. He took the topic to heart and masterfully wove the culture around learning into every aspect of his presentation.
Mr. Clinton was ushered in by the lively playing of Eric Stanley on the violin. (More about Eric's amazing talent in a future post.) He had two pages of notes, there was no teleprompter for this live audience of just over 2000 people. And he did put his reading glasses on but then proceeded to speak to us from the heart for sixty minutes without using his notes at all!
I’m not a public speaker and could never imagine what it takes to connect with so many people so intimately. He knew his stuff. And regardless of a person’s political views or personal opinions of Bill Clinton I think he reached many hearts and minds that evening. I was awed and impressed by his passion for his country, his commitment to making a difference in the world, and for his message of possibility and call to action. Thank you Mr. Clinton for leading the way as a philanthropist and humanist and keeping our dreams for the future alive.
Here are the highlights as I recall them; my note taking was scribbled longhand so I’m not quoting directly:
The How’s:
How do we invite people to “…drop their barriers to hearing new things in new ways.”
What’s the roll of education and learning in creating new systems? Ditto the roll of technology and how will we disseminate it.
How to lift people up (third world countries) without tearing yourself down.
How to share the future.
His call to action:
Lifetime learning—be a lifelong learner
We have to reform our systems and there’s a vital educational component to that
Re-form education how much we can teach through technology
Copy models that work, re-forming the way we learn
Why don’t good ideas or models travel in developed societies?
The Indian Clerk by David Leavitt (a novel recommended by his daughter Chelsea)
Wisdom:
Utter once a day: I was wrong or I don’t know.
Develop a decision making process that’s rooted in tomorrow.
Everybody has a story—he grew up in a family of storytellers where you had to demonstrate you could listen to a story before you were allowed to tell one.
Most people are happiest doing what they are best at.
I signed up for a flipbook class at Priceless Scrapbooks with my sis-in-love but there weren't enough participants so Bonnie made this beauty in the photos and I hope I'll be able to replicate something close.
I filled it with photos of Sharon and Marina and sent it for Sharon's B'day this month. ♥
"It is the wise mother who gives her child roots and wings."
"If you can imagine it you can achieve it."
"We do not remember days...we remember moments."
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." ~Emily Dickinson
The Way is magically written and transported me to the time of Jesus and combines spirituality, myth, history, and fantasy into a story about the Messiah that is sure to be deeply discussed in book clubs, living rooms, and café's worldwide. Controversial? Yes. Written from the heart to spread love? Absolutely. If you enjoyed Og Mandino's The Christ Commission or Kathleen McGowan's novels like The Expected One. You're sure to find yourself transported by Kristen's debut novel.
I only resecently discovered Diane Chamberlain when I picked up a copy of The Secret Life of Cee Cee Wilkes. It was a good story with solid characters. My girlfreind passed on a well worn copy of Secrets She Left Behind and I was up way too late turning the pages—transported to an island off North Carolina where tradgedy has befallen the community. I was captivated by the way Diane told this story from four alternating viewpoints. There is a prequel (which I discovered afterwards) but it's meant to stand alone, maybe she'll consider making it into a trilogy.
The characters and plot are so complex and well delivered that it seems impossible this is Vanessa's first published novel. The Language of Flowers is a story of forgiveness, redemption, mother daughter relationships, and a unique and fascinating communication style: the meaning and definition behind a simple bloom. Oh dear reader, you will be transported by the sights and smells on these pages and you'll think lovingly of Victoria Jones whenever you see a bouquet of flowers and wonder if the giver and receiver know what's being said. Remarkable debut novel! Not a coincidence I chose bougainvillea to include in the photo above. ;)
Last year AssistU’s Community Recognition Awards were held in Reston, VA and Anastacia aptly renamed the event Homecoming. I knew after a year of caretaking responsibilities I desperately needed to attend in order to rejuvenate myself and to give and receive love, hugs, and laughter. My experience although wonderful was that I wasn’t really present for the event—I was worried about my mom and how she and my family were handling my absence. Unfortunately not well and even though there was nothing I could do about that I struggled with feelings of guilt and selfishness amidst the outpouring of love I received from my virtual family.
After connecting virtually for over a year I met Beatrice Ten-Thye (whom my aunt in Canada had referred to me and AssistU) at that event which made every negative thought and doubt flee in the joy and happiness of our connection. That’s what Homecoming is about! In the groovy words of of the ultimate Native American rock band, Redbone, “Come and get your love.”
I traveled to distant cities three times this year (huge for this homebody) and had not budgeted for a trip to San Diego in September. I waivered and listed pros and cons and sat on the fence whining about the view. Then I spoke to my childhood friend, we met in the Bahamas when we were ten, who has lived in San Diego for ten years and raved about it, but I had never visited her new city.
I heard the excitement in her voice when I told her our community in person event would be held there and that I was considering coming. She really wanted me to come but she also said it was the perfect place to hold our Homecoming event. That decided me. The attraction of an old friend sharing her beloved city was the kick in the butt I needed to create the resources of time, finances, and energy to make it happen. I had been focusing on what it would cost me to go instead of what it would pay me to go. That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
When I arrived at the restaurant for the educational portion of the event (a most excellent addition) I was greeted in the foyer by dearly familiar faces that I have met over the past five years of CRA events. We rush to hug, quite often we scream or jump up and down with joy! And then a tiny blonde woman came up to me and said, “Laura? It’s Lisa!” My latest lovely intern from Colorado—we had just spent the past two months working together and getting to know each other. Oh, how wonderful it is to go from vugs (virtual hugs) to warm, tight, long, loving HUGS! That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
Bumper sticker we received at Homecoming! :)
I made my way through this crowd of twenty-five or so women and then recognized (only because we had finally Skyped together the past week) another dear friend I’d never met. Karen interned with me four years ago when she graduated AssistU’s Virtual Training Program. She had delayed starting her business until this year to support her parents and her in-laws, and moved to two States in the process. We were there for each other when we were caretakers for our moms and became very close. Joy of joys to hug dear Karen and look into her eyes and smile from my soul. That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
When hands reached up to cover my eyes from behind me I knew it could only be Bea! A kindred soul and lovely spirit—I love loving Beatrice. Since I met her in Reston I had stayed with her for a week in Canada after visiting my relatives this spring. We formed a wonderful bond and experienced memory making moments together. What a dear friend she’s been. Shouts of joy must have preceded that huge hug! That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
Eventually we settled for the presentation beginning with two awesome guest speakers: Christina Hills who spoke about Wordpress and her online training program followed by Laura Rubinstein a social media specialist and co-founder of Social Buzz Club—an innovative online networking membership community. These amazing women were joined by a panel of our own AU experts in their fields and we all participated in a lively Q&A session, sharing knowledge, aha moments, and how to steps; no questions were too small or too big. One distinguishing detail that makes our community a unique and extraordinary place is that we give freely to each other: information, resources, support, and feedback. Our panel of experts was informative, helpful, and magnanimous in their answers and explanations. Thank you all for participating! That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
There were more hugs and shouts of joy as new faces joined in when we regrouped for dinner and the next day for the awards luncheon. I won’t drag this post out with a play by play but I thoroughly enjoyed hearing everyone introduce themselves before the luncheon and share something most people in the room would not know about themselves. The view, food, sunshiny patio and company were all spectacular! The tears flowed of course as Anastacia presented the awards with deeply touching words about each recipient. Huge congratulations to all of our deserving award winners—I was honored to be nominated with so many esteemed VAs. When Rachael’s dad asked to say a few words of gratitude and how proud he was of his daughter there was not a dry eye in the room. That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
Cameras snapped to capture the moments, video rolled and then the totally cool photo shoot that Rach’s dad set up took off wildly with priceless shots like these:
That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
Unexpectedly, I received numerous compliments on my blog and writing from these dear friends and readers which touched me deeply. Taking the time to write a comment is a huge compliment for a blogger, but mentioning how much you enjoy reading a blogger’s post when you see them in person is a deeply gracious and inspiring act—thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will absolutely keep writing! That’s what Homecoming is about, “Come and get your love.”
So, what is Homecoming about? Connecting. Learning, Experiencing. Loving. For me these people, these kindred souls, are my virtual family and so Homecoming is a deep quiet pool in my soul where I replenish and nourish myself and give as much as I receive. It’s about coming home.
If you were there—take a moment to relive your favorite memory from Homecoming while you get up and boogie to Real McCoy’s version of, “Come and Get Your Love”! If you weren’t able to join us this year get up and boogie while you brainstorm what it will take for you to be there with us next September for Homecoming in Minneapolis, we absolutely want you to, “Come and get your love!"
I keep a little notebook of books I've read and its kinda sparse for 2011—I haven't read that many books so far this year. After my full days I find I am drawn to a movie on Netflix or an older television series that we can view online. At night my tired brain can't seem to focus on a story in print. I've pledged to break this habit this month! Often when I mindlessly watch the screen I am also mindlessly eating and I absolutely want to HALT that old habit off immediately.
I usually walk through a bookstore and let books call to me. Yanno sometimes its just a little, "Pssst!" And other times it will be a title someone left on a table in the café.These are a few titles that attracted me that my lovely public library was helpful enough to order and reserve for me. I love our library! I 'll share my thoughts on those I recommend as I finish reading them.
A Stolen Life a memoir by Jaycee Dugard(audio read by author) It’s not an easy story to hear, it’s written very simply but graphically. It is similar to the story told in ‘Room’ except this is unbelievably real life. I decided since Jaycee was brave enough to write it I’d be brave enough to listen.
Signs of Life a memoir by Natalie Taylor I'm still drawn to books on how others live through loss and grief. Natalie was a newlywed, with a new house, new career, and new baby on the way when her husband was killed in a freak accident. She finds her way through to hope with the surprising help of a saucy fairy-god-mother and her wicked sense of humor.
Healer by Carol Cassella A novel of lost financial freedom and security. A medical career set aside to raise her family. Claire is determined to keep her family together and learn the true meaning of healing.
Left Neglected by Lisa Genova I read Lisa's first novel about early onset Alzheimers in one sitting. Gripping and haunting. She follows with this story of a brain injury that leaves go-getter-career-mom Sarah without the use of her left side.
This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman A teenage boy receives a sexually explicit video from a girl who likes him. One keystroke and bad decision later he shares it with a friend. Within hours the video is viral.
Next to Love by Ellen Feldman Quote from book flap: "Sometimes the most interesting war stories are not about the soldiers themselves but about the loved ones they leave behind."
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